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Aspiration, Rejection and
Surrender Part 1
by M. Govindan Satchidananda
"Rise up, prostrate, surrender, embrace, wonder;
Appeal in all the ways to the Holy feet of the Lord.
That brings the benefits of this birth;
Hold Him with reverence; He responds in turn."
- Tirumandiram, verse 1499
We are individually and collectively
engaged in a process of transformation which requires a rejection
of our old human nature and a surrender to the Divine Conscious-Energy
within. Having realized that a life of desire and aversion brings
only suffering, we do not seek to escape life here in this world,
to depart it in search for some heaven; but rather to purify ourselves
of ignorance, egoism, attachment, and all that resists the descent
of Divine grace. In doing so we have an arsenal of tooks in Kriya
Yoga to facilitate this process. But do we have the will, the motivation,
the aspiration, to reject what must be rejected, and to embrace
and surrender to the Divine?
The Integral Yoga of Sri Aurobindo
and the Mother could be summarized in the following two statements:
"(1) a steadily mounting ardent aspiration from the side of the
sadhaka, and (ii) from the Divine's side an answering Grace descending
from above in response to the sadhaka's call." But what is this
aspiration? How does it differ from desire? Sri Aurobindo defines
aspiration as "a spiritual enthusiasm, the height and ardour of
the soul's seeking…an upward movement of our consciousness
through the psychic part of our being towards all that is good,
pure and beautiful." The Mother described it as: "an inner enthusiasm
towards the New, the Unknown, the Perfection…a yearning,
a longing for the contact with the Divine Force, divine Harmony,
divine Love…an inner flame, a need for the light…A
luminous enthusiasm that seizes the whole being…a purifying
Will, an ever mounting drive."
It must not be confused with desires,
which are manifestations of the ego. The ego seeks to be separate,
special, superior, and it manifests desires to strengthen its specialness.
Desires are the manifestation of the insatiable thirst and appetite
of the separative ego-consciousness. But because of its inherent
limitation in power and capability it cannot fulfill its urge to
infinite and absolute possession. Hence there is an unbridgeable
gap between its insistent demands and actual attainments. This creates
constant discontent. Ego forgets that without the abolition of the
sense of separation and restitution of the experience of divine
unity and universality, it cannot hope to possess the world. For
this possession can be effected only in the spiritual way. But ego
mistakenly follows its own impossible way which amounts to gathering
from outside, from what it feels as not-self, more and more of objects
of enjoyment and bringing all these to its voraciously hungry mouth.
A genuine aspiration is just the
opposite of this. It is intensely aware of the insufficiencies and
imperfections of the ego-bound existence; hence it tries to come
out of this sordid prison house. Each of its movements is directed
not to the ego-centre, but away from it. And by this sole sign a
sadhak can recognize whether his or her governing impulse of the
moment is of the nature of a desire or of an aspiration. Thus, an
aspiration is, in its origin, a thirst arising from the soul, a
yearning towards the divine love, light, the beautiful, the good,
the pure and progress. There is ardour, even intensity, but no impatience,
no frustration.
How to begin to develop aspiration?
In stages, which begins with an intense dissatisfaction with the
habitual ways of human nature. One may wake up one morning and suddenly
realize that you are no longer willing to go on living unconsciously,
ignorantly, in a state in which you do things without knowing why,
feeling things without knowing why, living contractory wills, living
by habit, routine, reactions, understanding nothing. You are no
longer satisfied with that. How one responds to this dissatisfaction
varies. For most it is the need to know, for others it is to do
what should be done to find meaning. Secondly, one seeks ardently
to come out of this hollow human existence. One seeks the Truth,
Love, Peace, Joy, Being. These are probably still very vague, but
he or she must find release from the present state of nauseating
imperfections. Third, after some time, because of the persistent
insistence of the aspirant, Divine Grace responds, with a temporary
piercing of the veil of ignorance, and one experiences the spiritual
dimension of life. One sees the Light, feels Divine Love, or experiences
Divine Bliss, the Presence, or Truth, depending upon one's capacity
and orientation. It may vary from one person to another, but everything
else previously experienced in ordinary life, pales in comparison.
Fourth, the opening may close, so one must be careful not to forget
it, or to doubt it, but rather keep it vibrant and constantly direct
his or her aspiration for its re-mergence. Fifth, the sadhak will
find that gradually his or her attraction to the higher life is
growing and attachment to the old lower life is falling off. This
may manifest not only inwardly in the mental and vital planes, but
outwardly with regards to ones friends, even work and pastimes.
A new type of yearning and resolution fills the heart and mind,
which may express itself like this: "O Lord, I want you and you
alone. I do not want anything or anyone else except through you
and for you. I want to belong entirely to you and will never allow
anything to claim my consciousness. I surrender my all to you. Not
my will, but Thy will be done. I am yours alone." In a sixth stage,
the aspiration is so intense, that words and prayers, vocal or mental,
are no longer needed, even wanted. There is only the mounting flame
of spiritual fire rising steadily upward in the background of profound
silence. An intense seeking to belong to the Divine, to be united
with it, and to serve the Divine as a perfect instrument, envelopes
the whole expanse of the sadhak's consciousness. It is a great thirst
for Love and Truth, for transformation, for supreme perfection."
.
As aspiration grows, Divine Grace
responds and introduces a higher determinism which can transform
everything in our human nature. But for this to occur one must:
1. remove laxity and forgetfulness.
To aspire for two minutes, and then to forget for ten hours will
not do. Keep the object of aspiration constant in your consciousness.
2. avoid impatience, which brings depression and rebellion;
3. concentrate. Focus constantly on the object aspired for; do not
allow the mind to wander;
4. Constantly reject everything in your nature which tries to nullify
the power of your aspiration.
On Rejection:
As long as the sadhaka remains
under the control of his lower human nature, it is imperative that
he or she make some personal effort for his progress. This personal
effort comprises the three operations of aspiration, described above,
rejection and surrender. The Siddhas and more recently, Sri Aurobindo
have insisted that a sadhaka has to renounce all the habitual movements
of the lower nature. These include: the mind's opinions, preferences,
habits, constructions and ideas; the vital nature's desires, demands,
cravings, passions, selfishness, pride, arrogance, lust, greed,
jealousy, envy, hostility to the Truth; and the physical nature's
stupidity, doubt, disbelief, obscurity, obstinacy, pettiness, laziness,
sloth, unwillingness to change. The goal is the total divine transformation
of man's whole being and consciousness and nature. Every impulse
and movement arising within the consciousness of the sadhaka which
does not turn them towards the Divine, but is rathered ego-centered,
is an obstacle in this path. Needless to say, an ordinary sadhaka's
life is constantly troubled with a ceaseless stream of obstacles.
Their identification and removal is the yogic sadhana of rejection.
There are three classes of them, however, and a different strategy
for each. The three classes of obstaces are those of the past, those
of the present, and those of the future
When the obstacle is a type which
he has already conquered in the past, but is simply indulging out
of laziness, one should: (a) nip it at its very moment of sprouting,
like a piece of dust on one's sleeve; (b) never brood on it, (c)
take as little notice of it as possible, and (d) even if one happens
to think of it, remain indifferent and unconcerned.
The second category of obstacles,
those of the present, are often appearing in the sadhaka's consciousness,
even overwhelming it at times. But if the sadhaka tries with some
sincerity, he finds that he can keep part of his consciousness free
from their influence. The attitude needed by the sadhaka to deal
with this type is: (a) to apply one's willpower to resist the impulsion,
(b) never to rationalize or legitimize its appearance, but rather
to withdraw all inner consent from its manifestation, (c) never
to yield any ground, however limited in extent, (d) to act as a
heroic warrior against the dark tendencies of behalf of the upward-moving
forces of light, (e) turn immediately to the Divine and pray constantly
and fervently that these weaknesses and impulses of his or her nature
be vanquished and removed.
One should be aware of a few hidden
facts regarding the operation of such weaknesses. Even if one scores
a decisive victory over one weakness or obstacles, many others will
automatically be vanquished as well. A successful rejection of one
will give one added strength to gain mastery over many others. On
the other hand, indulging one, out of laziness for example, will
cause the sadhaka to lose much strength and fervour in successfully
tackling other impulses and weaknesses. A sincere and prompt effort
on the part of the sadhaka to confront and conquer all his present
day weaknesses as soon as they first appear will make the life of
the sadhana full of a joy which is independent of the outer circumstances
.
With regards to the third category
of obstacles within, the deeply hidden potential weaknesses. How
to recognize them? At their first appearance, almost the entire
portion of the sadhaka's being gets abnormally disturbed, agitated
and churned up. Their roots are so deep and extensive that the sadhaka
feels that they are an intrinsic and ineradicable part of his being;
one is not at all persuaded of the basic undesirability of these
weaknesses. With their appearance, the sadhaka loses for the time
being the lucidity of his consciousness, as if in a storm. A preponderant
portionn of his consciousness is still deeply infatuated with these
surging weaknesses and blindly hankers to fulfil some strong desires
through the medium of their manifestation. It would be foolhardy
to attempt to eradicate such a weakness unaided, before one is sufficiently
prepared. There is a real danger of suppression of its outer manifestation,
leading to an internal conflict with that major portion of the sadhak's
nature which obstinately clings to the attachment. An explosion
is inevitable, disrupting the balance of the being. So, one should
avoid as far as possible these intractable difficulties, and not
to allow them any occasion for manifestation. Rather the approach
should be as follows: (a) to hold the difficulty or weakness in
front of one's consciousness, without becoming scared by it or identified
with it, (b) to carefully look for its root cause or source, (c)
to try to discover what part's of one's nature are secretly nurturing
a fascination for this particular weakness, and are thrown into
a turmoil at its slightest beckoning, (d) maintain always a spirit
of calm, quiet detachment, throughout the above observation, even
if what is exposed is very ugly; (e) maintain an ardent aspiration
for the eradication of the weakness in question, addressing an earnest
prayer to the Divine for assistance. Such a prayer and aspiration
coupled with a thorough self-examination will progressively turn
these intractable obstacles first into manageable obstacles of the
second class, and finally into easily detachable ones of the past.
Aspiration,
Rejection and Surrender Part II
Copyright: M. Govindan Satchidananda,
January 2006
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